I was reading an article on some pro-life website or other all about the ‘vile disgusting’ product that is the Morning After Pill. I forced myself to finish the incredibly bias article, written by a well know journalist who is married with two children.
How very fitting, that she can critise females who take the Morning After Pill, when she herself has only ever been faced with raising a child with a husband and therefore with support, and with a regular income and a disposable one at that.
I’m not going to sit here and say whether I am pro life or pro choice, because its not black and white and I can’t say that i’m firmly either. But I can say one thing; the morning after pill is saving lives right now.
In December when I was taken advantage of, or whatever the hell label you want to put it under, I had to take the Morning After Pill. I was faced with a possible pregnancy. I was faced with my life ending at seventeen years old.
I can remember that morning as clear as anything, I woke up, felt the ache of a hangover and an unfamiliar ache between my legs. Its crude but it was how I realised what had happened. I can remember sneaking into the bathroom and ringing my best friend, Luke. I cried down the phone to him and he calmed me down, told me to get in the shower, and ring me when I was finished.
I did that - and so he told me to put a big dressing gown on, dry my hair, put a little bit of make up on and then ring him again. I did that, he told me to get dressed, so I dressed. He then told me to walk to the bus stop, so I did, all the while on the phone to him. We sat on the phone, in silence, for forty minutes until I was in the city. When I got there, he was waiting at the bus stop and he held me for what felt like hours.
He then took me to a small clinic, where I had to merely provide a name - a false one, I admit - and sit in the waiting room. Full of girls with similar looks in their eyes, desperate, distraught. Some where visibly pregnant - I can’t guess at the others.
Luke kept whispering that I could walk out if I wanted, I might not even get pregnant - it was only last night and I might not be at the right time of the month. I can walk out and just test. But he also whispered about the risks, ‘you need to decide, is it worth it? What would you do if you did get pregnant?’
What if it was James’ baby? Would you be able to raise James’ baby? Look at it and tell it you loved it. What if it was a boy that looked like James?
The risk was about 50/50, I was at my most fertile - the highest point in the month for conception. So it was incredibly possible I could have got pregnant. So I went into see the nurse, who took my blood pressure and asked how it had happened. She asked if I wanted to talk to anyone, I declined. She poured a glass of water and pushed a tiny pill towards me.
She informed me how it may cause some bleeding, but how it should be pain free and I should get a normal period and that, the main benefit was, I would not get pregnant. I nodded and swallowed the pill.
I will not apologise for that, but I will say that it is something that has bothered me. the morning after pill is NOT abortion in my eyes, but it still prevented a potential life and that is something that will haunt me for a long time.
